Brief an die Nasa

Brief eines Bayern an die NASA

Greet God!
I write you, because you must help me. I have seen your space shuttle in the television.
In colour. And so cam me the idea to make holidays in the worldroom.
Without my crazy wife.

I am the Kraxlhuber. The King of Bavaria was my clock-clock-grandfather.
I stand on a very bad foot with my wife. Always she shouts with me.
She has a shrill voice like a circle saw. She lets no good hair at me. She says
I am a Schlapp - tail. She wants that I become Buergermaster. But I want not to be
Buergermaster. I have nothing at the hat with the political shit. I want my Ruah.
And so I want make holidays on then moon. Without my bad half. But I take my
dog with me. He is a boxer. His name is Wurstl.
So I want book a flight in your next Space Shuttle. But please give me not a window place.
I would kotz you the rocket full, because I am not swindle free. And no standing-place please.
And please do not tell my wife that I want go alone. She has a big Schrot-Gun. She would
make a sieve from my ass.
I need much comfort. A nice double room with bath and kloo and heating. And windows with look to the earth. So I can look through my far-glasses and see my wife working on the
potatoe field. And I and my dog louhg us a branch (haehaehae). We will kringel ourself loughing
(hoehoehoe) !
Is was loose on the moon? I need worm weather and I hope the sun shines every day.
This is very good fuer my frost-boils. I need not much. A good bread time, a good Haxn
and a Mass beer.
Have they chew-tobacco on the moon? If not, I bring it with. Is in the rocket place for my
drive wheel?
Tell the man of the moon that I come. I hope he has no wife. We can make outflights
with my drive wheel. We can make crater-wandering. I bring him the Bavarian national hymn
bei. We can make tobacco chewing. We can drink a lot of hopblossom-tea. I hope he is no
Preiss !!! We can spuck around the bed. We can make finger-hooking. I bring the Bavarian flag
with and we can dance shoeplattler around it.
Have they flies on the moon? If yes, I bring my weather-frog with. De will get fat like a otter.
I want make 5 weeks holidays. When you have a new rocket after 5 weeks, I wait for the next
rainbow and drive with my Radl.
Please make a good price - under good friends. I cannot pay so peppered prices, because my
pocket money is not so much; send your answer to my neighbour Wastl Hintermoser. I have the
honour.

Your Alois Kraxlhuber

P.S. Dont fly when is full-moon. My dog, this Pig-Bazi, becomes always epileptic and makes so
much noise.